Alt title: 2019 word of the year
Two weeks weeks ago, before the snow really got going and St. Louis completely shut down, I snuck away for a mini staycation.
I had plans to go get a massage, get my hair done, and maybe even get my nails done because it was going to be a #treatyoself kind of weekend. I had somehow missed the memo about the impending snowpocalypse, but when the snow started piling up and showed no signs of stopping, highways started to close, and STL was the featured story on the Weather Channel, I knew this was the real deal.
I hunkered down for the next 48 hours, watched the snow fall from the comfort of a king-size bed, and spent quite a bit of time sitting with Jesus and thinking about what I want this year - personally, professionally, and creatively.
I started to think about what goals I wanted to set, but it just didn’t feel right. The thing about setting goals is that goals are hit or miss - literally. You either achieve it or don’t.
And let me tell you, that doesn’t sit well in my all-or-nothing, perfectionist-minded heart. Every year I spend so much time thinking about my goals and worrying about if they’re the right mix of being both achievable and a stretch, that before I know it it’s the middle of the year and I haven’t actually written them down yet.
They just hang out in the back of my head, and every couple of months I remember what I haven’t yet accomplished, and at the end of the year if I haven’t checked those things off my list, I feel like I’ve failed.
I’m really hard on myself, and I’m working on it, but I don’t need that pressure in 2019. Pretty sure I’ll get enough of it from somewhere else.
So this year I decided I want to set an intention instead - something that I can bring myself back to when I wander; something that would guide my thoughts.
Enter “steadfast,” my word for this year.
For me, it's twofold:
I hope to never lose sight of God’s steadfast love for me. And I know that I will because I’m human and also because of who I am as a person, but I want this word to remind me to turn my face towards God who’s unconditional steadfast love and abundant grace has and will to continue see me through my toughest struggles.
Each moment, or day, or situation that I choose to see God’s steadfast love and have hope in him instead of giving in to and being consumer by whatever is dragging me down, I’m one step closer to a more (though admittedly imperfect) steadfast faith in Him.
I first encountered this word in Lamentations 3:21-25 where it says:
But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.
I've come to find that though, that "steadfast" is used so many times in the Bible. I'm excited to explore and memorize some of these throughout the year and I'm thankful the snow slowed me down and kept me still so I could listen to the Lord speak a Word over my year.